Hummmmmmmmmmmm

Try to picture yourself on a train moving at 200 miles per hour looking out of the window. You are trying to focus on what seems to be interesting scenes but is only a blur. You are hurriedly rolling by exquisitely beautiful things but havent the time to pay any mind to them. This is how I believe my life has been for the past 10-15 years. Great and bountiful delights I have regretfully let pass unnoticed. I admit I was one of the many rats that race through New York City. My distaste to this hurried lifestyle has been evident to my friends and family for a couple of years now. Dont get me wrong, this city possesses some fantastic attributes that I feel will bring me back often. I can definitely say it has etched itself into who I am and probably will be some part of me forever. However, I always considered it (even when I was very young) a city to come and visit. One where you come, you stay, you handle whatever business you must and you return to a serene place you call home. Very many different influences (too many to note) including being blown in the face one to many times by the exhaust of passing city buses has confused me. All this shit has made me dangerously deviate from my true path. Its funny how molded one can be by their surroundings. How suppressed ones talent can be by innocently being born into a family of buffoons. So this past weekend was spent at my place upstate with a girl I see (Jen) Shes one of the most gentle girls I have met. She and I met some guy while checking out the area that invited us to some Buddhist place. So early in the day today we visited a Zen Buddhist Monastery. It was located high in the mountains next to a cute town named Phoenicia. I love this cozy little town because it reminds me of the show South Park with a small strip of boutique stores surrounded by rolls of high and rugged mountains. This monastery stuff is damn weird I tell ya. Its definitely relaxing and all but I feel these people try a little too hard to be at one with themselves. I mean what the fuck? You had the obvious taking off of shoes and rampant bowing to one another. we spent 3 hours mostly sitting in a weird position with our legs, backs, necks and even our hands in a certain "Zen" formation. There was chanting and reading from a book. I kept thinking somebody should put these people onto something called marijuana. You can cut out all the incense and the ringing of bells and get to just about the same if not a deeper sense of "oneness". I do although feel oddly maybe even uncommonly relaxed today. Anyway I have never taken work more seriously than I have been recently and this is because of one simple reason. I need to finance my goal of owning and operating a farm with many acres somewhere between here and Buffalo which is some 350 miles north of NYC. Ahhh lots of open country land to explore. I'd love to have a few large dogs that harass the cows and goats in there cute playful way in the mornings. I think open wide country land is absolutely breathtaking and will contest with a sharp tongue anyone that says otherwise.. So getting back to my speeding train. It slooooowed down a bit. Things seem more euphoric.... Clear and brightly vivid.