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I lye on my bed staring up at the ceiling today. I am contemplating how I can save my lost dog. I think about the sparsely spread flyers we put up around our neighborhood and how they will do nothing to find him. I cant help but feel helpless. I hate this feeling. I am extremely saddened by his disaprearance and I know not what to do. I know, inevitabely, i will have to deal with this feeling again and it scares me. He grew up with my little sister and I remember so many times that he put smiles on our faces. I can at least say that the last few times that I seen him I gave him uncommonly more attention than I normally do. This is because he has been getting old and something told me he wont be around for too much longer. Having fri night dinner with my family and not having him nudge my leg for food was a grim reality check. I dont care if he is a dog or a brother. He is family and I love him nonetheless. Today I was awoken by my cell phone ringing none stop. I have my office calls forwarding to it and it rings constantly. So the first person i spoke to upon opening my eyes today was a customer with a NY #. He asked why I have an old tv model still on the site and after explaning to him that many people still search for it and thats why we still have it he called me a dipshit and hung up. I knew my day would suck if I didnt get retribution so I called him back and said Im gonna trace your number and kick you in your fucking ass! I then felt a little better but also realized I just did something illegal. I was scared for a second until he called back. He called and said hi im the guy you just threatened on the phone. I was about to aplogize for doing so when he cut me off and said listen man Im sorry about talking to you like that but my girlfriend and I broke up and I guess I released my anger on you. I said its ok we all do these things and proceeded to take his order. I mention this because I cant count the amount of people I must have made feel like shit when my exgirlfriend and I broke up. Its not right. I'd love to release the anger I have for losing my dog on someone but I wont. Its not fair. Helplessly, all I can do is eat it and hope he is happy unlike in the thoughts that swarm in my head.