Saturday, December 31, 2011

Gillys 2011 Review - "Fuck this guy" Occupy Wall street

My friend Nervous suggested I post a review of the very eventful year that just passed and so here. 

They say you can take a mad person going berserk to the ocean and he will immediately calm. In my opinion, it's because you see this godly mass of water that is somehow contained. Japans tsunami is the reason the mad calm. I was mesmerized, amazed, shocked and sad for the Japs. Seeing this mass of water swallowing in one gulp so much land, homes and cars drifting away or even exploding   
from all the water filling it. Utterly, very violently spectacular. There's no doubt we're all already exposed to Fukushimas nuclear leak. Couple of weeks ago I was translating material from Johnson and Johnson, a client of ours, and there were several pages explaining they have found some devices made by other suppliers of theirs with radiation on the electrical parts bought from Japan. Basically, they were making sure we dont use products from japan to construct the computer systems we make for them. J&J is a rather large and ethical company. These are rare. Others have no problem using their contaminated parts. So yea, that new baby monitor you got for your newborn, probably radioactive.

The way I look at it, the Occupy Wall Street movement and the protests in Zuccotti Park
    are a result of some well spoken dude, an honest looking Black/Hawaiin man who may or may not be muslim, talking about wanting change around 4 years ago. His name rhymes with Osama and although it was unintended, this jackass who lied about bringing change planted a seed that grew in the minds of the youth (his biggest support group). This is why we now see the 99%ers. I remember once reading the story below:

Indian Chief ‘Two Eagles’ was asked by a white U.S. government official, “You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress and the damage he’s done.”
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, “Considering all these events, in your opinion where did the white man go wrong?”
The Chief stared at the government official and then replied, “When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.”
Then the chief leaned back and smiled, “Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.”  
Somewhere between the time Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' speaks of and now, what happened is what I call "The Retardation of Society". Technologically more advanced yes, but, together with it came a twisted system and way of life that molded the world into one that is far from Ideal. Cruel and evil even. I'm not sure, if ever in history, there's been a global revolution the likes of which we're seeing. I wish it were possible, what OWSers keep saying about peaceful protest. It Isn't, we are dealing with elite types that see the deaths of hundreds of thousands as profit because they own bomb factories. They will use their influence or position in government to kill citizens of their own countries using the police or military. This, to protect their capability to make billions. I understand greed, but the world, it seems, has become irreversibly corrupt. Governments are structured in an unnecesserily complicated way. A way that is dificult for an average layman to understand. Confused, people are, and so instead of  trying to understand, realize how fukt the establishment is, they tune into CNN where a member of said establishment has produced a daily drama series like 90210 or Law and Order that they dubbed "Daily News" and script the info that is fed to your brain. Not only that but they poison it by spending 50 out of 60 minutes of their allotted time trying to scare you, depress you, or to sway your thinking to agree with whatever is on the list for the day.
 So, having long ago realized the general world population are a bunch of easily misled, programmable shmucks, the US Government managed to convince the world that they have killed Osama Bin Laden. Ya know, the same guy the US Defense Dept and CIA worked very closely with to kick Russias ass in the late 80's. I mean listen, when you want to use this Mt. Everest sized mountain of money America *had in its reserves because of many years of taxing prosperity, you need to start wars. It's simple, a soldier on the ground in Afghanistan will be on patrol and see a glimmer in the mountainous distance, call in air support to drop a $500,000  JDAM on the glimmers location.
Cost of manufacturing bomb probably 10k.Cost of production videos with Osama reading threats saying "Death To America" from scripts written by the CIA, 50k. Starting a new world order, PRICELESS. Anyway the backwards way in which our world works is probably the biggest conspiracy in human history.
 Probably involving a select few world hyper elites who descended from the founders of the current world order. These people want the world economys to crash. 

Not only for me but for others as well interesting things have gone down. One example is this vid  bouncing around the web with Libyas Qadaffi being anally raped   with a long knife after his people revolted, somehow armed themselves, and with their combined vigor and  balls of steel, squashed his army, killed most of his family and then after brutally beating and molesting him, a bullet they put through his brain. Just picture, a man who is accustomed to only the luxuriously fanciest, comfortable and finest a life, having a mob of 2,000 militant types showing you the polar opposite of that as you spend your lifes last moments.

As for Egypts Mubarak, alls I can say is that you dont flaunt the things you robbed in front of all the people from whom you've  robbed them. Pin stripe suits when looked at under a microscope show his name Hosni Mubarak in the stripes, $100,000 a suit. Wealthiest person in Egypt and how you ask? By stealing everything from his people. The man thought he was a pharoah. Funny how confident and healthy he looked during his reign and now on tv, in his court appearances, they wheel him in in a wheelchair looking all sickly and weak, an obvious and desperate ruse .
 I remember when the initial days of the Arab spring in Egypt when the protestors were calm and civil. Saw a video of Mubaraks envoy plowing through a crowd of people.  Rag dollish, in every direction bodys flew. 

This year there's been more self immolations then there has been in the past 5 years combined.  
This uber extreme method of protesting is one I'll never comprehend. I guess am not spiritually inclined. I think I understand the message they are trying to send but they fail to realize that those in control dont digest this messsage in the intended way. They are used to not giving fucks, and so why would they be anything but happy that an annoying voice was silenced.

The wailing North Koreans, to me is an interesting phenomenon. The way he influences his people is similar to the way a cult leader does his followers. It seems like their really emotional over this out there. Still, they might be acting. So the son, Kim Jong-un
In my opinion, if he really will have control of the country, he will change this satellite image 
from a baron, lifeless country to one that will thrive and glow like the south. Educated in Switzerland and most definitely savvy as to the internet, he may just be what NK needs. 

And so to conclude, it's become firmly understood that this world is a carnival of madness that needs to be trudged through with the same caution as a haunted house. But fear not because fear is poison to proper progress in ones life. So is shame but we can talk about that another time.

Song for the moment:

Monday, December 26, 2011

The current

Incredible how many changes are taking place in my life. I knew I needed this but had no way of taking action. Changed countries, homes, jobs, found an amazing partner, now living with said partner, new car... Truth is I was sick of my life and what it's become back in NYC and am bear hugging the opportunity that was given to me to reinvent myself here. I am still me but my atmosphere has changed and from the inside out I am arranging things in the order that fancies me best. In the order I always thought things should be. I knew I needed a good girl to share life with and to feel complete. This I was given. The novelty of being in Israel has faded but I am wholeheartedly embracing the current stage at which I stand. The one where I am becoming settled and accustomed to my surroundings. One where routine kicks in. Routine, so long as it isn't boring is fine. It is a routine that consists of seeing new things, taking new steps and enjoying new life stages. They are happening concurrently but overwhelming it isn't. It's fun. 

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Monday, December 19, 2011

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Thursday, December 08, 2011

Saturday, December 03, 2011

Friday, December 02, 2011

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Go karting in Haifa w/Alona and her friends.

Ida taken 1st had I not gone NY on em and smashed into everyone.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Good tymes

I am among true occupiers here in Israel. We are surrounded by and intertwined with ayrabs. You can tell them apart off the bat. I should mention, I quarrel with no one until they crap in my lawn and have no problem with hard working people like the many ayrabs are. Certain smells remind me of times I've visited and I'm then reminded --- I now live here. A warm feeling I get. It's like some switch was turned on somewhere upstairs that says now is Gils time. So, I run around in this Peugeot 206 I picked up, I keep Rip more company then he's used to and am reaching a level of appreciation for music unlike any before. For an eternity I had to keep to myself myself (take a sec)... I would not give nor would I care to take. Kinda like parve ice cream or cake. Always on the "never getting married" tip. If I was given just a minute chance of someone possessing some of the qualities of a great girl, Ida been ecstatic. I wasn't though, the switch has been flicked and my "luck" is beaming. I'm in a familiar place, one of possibilities, where what happens is things. A place into where I was always told things will fall. I never believed.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The current

I'm finding it very much liberating to live here in Israel. So many changes. I feel that here I can conform people and things to my liking rather than having them shape me. I kinda feel like for over 30 years I've been swimming through muddy waters looking for a place where I belong. My home. It's a certain comfort that's taking me back to times I used to dream big and felt I can change things.  All this seems possible again. In a way I feel like the only person living on earth. This because I am very much in my own world. Different I am and I care not. I feel misunderstood but it really doesn't phase me as I can't expect a herd to understand why they're being herded. People in this country see some sort of novelty in me because I did Aliyah. Whenever I mention it to people I get tangled in an exchange of words that  lasts long as fuck. Also, I think people here feel Americans are easily led on or taken advantage of.  Here I am, home from work, music blasting, reminiscing. Not long ago Danman asked me if I miss NY and was surprised when my reply was "fuck no".

Thursday, November 17, 2011


When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY, CA. It was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. 

One nurse took her copy to Missouri. 

The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.

Crabby Old Man... 
What do you see nurses? . . ... . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .... . . . . With faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . . . .. . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .... . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . .. . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .... . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . .. . You're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. . . . .... . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . .. . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . .. With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . .. ... .. Who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . ... A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . .. My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . That I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . . . .... . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. . . . . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons . . ... . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .... . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . .. . And the love that I've known.

I'm now an old man . . . . ..... And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . Where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . ... . Life over again.

I think of the years, all too few . . . . ... Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . .. . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . ... . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . ... . . Look closer . .. . See ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. 

We will all, one day, be there, too!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Ego Sum In Diligo

Whenever asked why it is I don't smile often I am reminded of the shit that i try to forget in regards to what goes on in this world. The act of not smiling often or of not being happy-go-lucky, like my dog, isn't caused by some recent thought or immediate occurrence much more so than it is by the manifestation of a jaded depression. Absolutely sickens me to see Mayor Bloomberg throw around his cronie cops arresting and abusing innocent people that see through the tint people like the Bilderbergs plastered around  them as if saying "alright you had your little time to have fun here in Zucotti park now go home you little vagrants". It sucks to say this but we need to beat some people in congress and the senate much like the Libyans did when they captured Qadafi until they accept the change that's coming. I don't agree with the majority saying peaceful protesting is the way to go. Our governments (worldwide) should be taken back from whence they've strayed, the  American way, with numbers and guns.  On a lighter note - definitely going through some chemical changes here in the holy land. I'm pretty sure I know who the culprit is... Life feels more real. I can say with confidence that I will move and shake things in this little country.Gut feeling.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

Good Things

I've been saying it's been a while since I've felt the way I do. Truth is I never felt this way. Although crap from the past is still somewhat covering up (like resin) the feeling of ecstatic happiness I know I want to feel because of where I currently stand, still, I see amazing things and great times lying ahead. Never before have I met someone who I seriously feel can compliment me well in the years to come, one who I feel may be a good mother to my kids. It is an exciting and at the same time wonderful thing to have had this happen to me so soon into my integration here. I imagine the content on this blog may just be influenced by this beautiful person in the future.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Integrating in Israel

Ya know, life is weird and you can find yourself in random places at any given time. Right now I lay in my flat in the town of Hadera in the center of Israel. It's kinda hot but I'm avoiding putting on the AC and instead opened all the windows. My place is scantily filled with the basics. I await a cousin of mine who will be bringing me a fridge. I scored a tv, bed, coffee table, tv table, some chairs for the island I have in the kitchen and all the necessities to fill a kitchen very graciously given to me by a distant family member. She will soon be receiving a thank you card. She will probably be surprised as I imagine this isn't done very often here. Still I will stick to proper etiquette and take the 5 minutes to write one.  Oh, I also I have a large cabinet that I can fit all my clothes in. Work is good. I am being paid the same as a Nigerian but I will keep from scamming as I live in a land that is plentiful and the money is definitely not the reason I came here. Hmm, I do worry though about being able to keep the essentials I need to survive. As they say here " Iye beseder" It'll be ok. My dog is my base, my anchor. He was bit by another Israeli dog and was bleeding profusely over the weekend. I repaired him and he is now laying next to me watching intently as a miniscule ant walks by his nose. It is too small for me to care. I find I am luckier here with the ladies then I am back home. Women will come and go here and I will pay mind to them as much as I do pages in a magazine as I flip through them. This, until I find one with whom I want to settle. I will write more here about my integration into Israeli society but for now I must tend to the wound that I am trying to keep from being infected on my dogs ear.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


I'm currently staying at my brothers out in Long Island. It's calm and serene here unlike Brooklyn. It's a good place to come and relax, to reflect. I'm using my time here to detox from cigarettes. It's about time I quit those damn things. I'm free of any other foreign substance these days and this is the only one that remains.
I find it very funny, but at the same time not, that friends keep telling me they quit using drugs/taking pills while it's obvious that they did not. They wouldn't be so boisterous and loud, so oblivious to the people around them, looking at them with fear and disgust. It is embarrassing to be around them and I find it very odd that I never noticed it before. I guess I too was loud and obnoxious and never once looked at myself and my actions and asked, what the hell are you doing? I guess now that I am clean, I am a lot more reserved and conscious of my surroundings, of other peoples right to speak, of their opinions and their space. No longer a jerk unaware of his disposition. 

Monday, September 12, 2011


It all started with a smile from a girl. She was receptive to me when I was talking to her and suddenly a guy comes out of the blue and tells me to beat it. Since I was in my neighborhood and outside of my local pool hall I told them to "get the fuck outta here" before somethin bad happens to them... They took off and I went up to play pool. The whole time while playing pool I was sorry I didnt knock that dude out. It was like an itch I couldnt scratch. Lo and behold 20 minutes after he left this same dude came up to the pool hall and asked to me come outside. Now Im from Brooklyn and I knew very well that he had a mob of friends outside waiting for me to come out. I told him sure be right there, turned around and returned with a right hook to this guys face. He was out. He stumbled back downstairs and I went back to my pool game knowing what was coming next. Within 1 minute the pool hall was filled with this dudes little gangster friends. Literally 25-30 of them. I blended in with the rest of the pool players while the leader of the group very menacingly asked "whos the tough guy" I quckly took stock and thought about what to do. A fight will no doubt end with me getting the crap beat out of me. I thought the best coarse of action would be to demoralize them by taking out their leader. So when he was right next to me again asking whos the tough guy while the whole pool hall was silent I bent back and smashed the pool stick across this little punks face. He fell and was out for the count. Then all hell broke loose. Pool sticks were swinging, both my friends and the rest were in a major brawl. I might have took out 2 more kids after realizing they started to pull out knives. I told a friend of mine its time to go and bolted towards the door. I ran outside and towards a bagel shop for safety. I quickly realized that there were 2 guys chasing me and so I ran for my life. I finally made it to the door of the place when I felt a slight slap on my back. I hopped over the counter of this bagel place and grabbed a huge bagel cutting knife and proceeded towards the door ( I was later able to see all this in the police station on the video surveillance cam) I Proceed towards the door when someone stopped me and said I was bleeding. It turns out one of the guys chasing me was able to (with an extended arm) slice me in the back. So I have a scar about 2 inches long going down the middle of my back. My friend who was'nt familiar with my neighborhood took off from the pool hall soon after I did but ran the wrong way. They caught up with him stabbed and broke around 10 pool sticks over his head and back. I owe that kid my life.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Today was a good day

Today I noticed something significant. For the first time in a long time, I woke up happy. This feeling is alien to me. Normally I'd wake with a terrible feeling of hopelessness and depression. I think this is because I didn't see anything good happening anytime soon. I keep a positive attitude these days and I guess its karmic habit force that has finally kicked this in and made it emerge through the years of guk that was covering it. Lots of things are happening that I don't want to mention as I don't want to jinx myself. All the things that are happening, in my opinion, is a direct result of the positive attitude I keep, the daily meditation and also the tools and techniques I picked up in the passed couple of months.


I have to admit, I don't feel like I'm soon moving to Israel. I know that I am but it doesn't feel like it. I know that anything can happen and so with my luck I'm thinking some crazy shit will happen between now and the time when I'm supposed to go (around a month). Anyway, this city is shit. I hate Brooklyn. I was in the Bronx today and I hate it there too. Was at a Yankee game with Zo. I'm definitely not a negative person so this must just be true hate for the crap city I live in. 

Friday, September 02, 2011

Thursday, September 01, 2011

Current Read - Iron John, a book about men. By Robert Bly

A great (poetic) book about the lack of true manliness in men since the industrial revolution. Given to me by my counselor at the Betty Ford Center. 

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Hurricane Irene

There's something extremely calming about sitting, relaxing and reading a book or meditating while there is so much chaos and commotion outside. I always loved contrast and this a great example of it.

Friday, August 26, 2011

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Israeli Defence Forces Army Reserves

I am soon moving to live in Israel where a lucrative job and nice place await me. Also, I am bringing Rip (my dog) along and so things will be good. I have already discussed with the military people there that I will be joining the Army reserves. This may sound weird but, I dont mind if there is a war and I'm called. Why? A- I will join the ranks of others in my family who have kicked ass in order to preserve our heritage. Like my pops who fought in the 6 day war and the Yom Kippur war when renegade ayrabs were advancing from every angle or B- So I can die a warriors death instead of ODing on pills or being hit by a city bus.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Free Again

For 3 years now I've been on Felony probation for some bullshit you can read about in the archives of this blog. Probation sucks. Its like a stamp on your head letting you know everyday that you fucked up. For the first year I'd have to make sure to see a probation officer assigned to me every 2 weeks. This degrading process took place downtown where all the courts are. I'd have to go there, sign my name on a list sit and wait (more often than not for hours) with people that I can only describe as NYC's worst. Simply put, low life vagrants. We'd wait there for our probation officers to call us in to there offices to ask us questions and make sure we're not getting into trouble. This always interfered with work because I had to be there on Tuesdays anytime between 10-6. I'll repeat, really fucked with my work. 2nd year I was allowed to come visit these probation officers only once a month instead of every 2 weeks. This made my life a little easier but still I'd have to find an excuse to leave work early once a month. I would normally say I'm going to the doctor and leave early or would just take the whole day off and call in sick. Finally, since I never failed a drug test or violated my probation in anyway, I was moved to what is called the Kiosk. You see, because NY is so strapped for cash and there are so many people on probation they created this booth type thing for non risk probationers. We'd have to go there, enter our pin number into a computer and place our hands into some electronic finger print reader. The computer confirms its you with the fingerprint scan and then asks you questions like "are you still working?" "were you arrested in the past month?" and that's it. This last step (the kiosk) was a lot less a pain in the ass because we wouldnt have to wait for hours to sit with a probation officer. At that low level of supervision you actually have no probation officer anymore. I knew from day one that after I serve half of my sentence (5 years probation) I would be able to ask for early release. So I did. I did this around 3 months ago and was just giving up after not hearing anything back from my sentencing judge. People on probation are not allowed to leave the state without prior permission from the courts. For reasons I will soon write about I had to get permission to go to California. A fucking headache it is. You have go in to the probation building and beg someone to help you fill the paper work to get approved to leave the state. In the process I was informed my early release was GRANTED! I was in shock when I was told. The probation officer told me I was granted early release to which I replied. I never have to come back here again (with an undertone of disbelief)? She replied "thats right have a nice life" She said it as if it meant nothing but it did to me. I'll never forget those words coming out of that chics mouth "have a nice life" Ha.

Monday, July 18, 2011

My advice to a 14 year old on the internet asking for help on how to survive this world

As a 30 year old guy, looking back at his life in retrospect, I can tell you what I'd do over. At your age I would try to find a passion. Something I absolutely love. Could be turtles could be flying planes could be anything. Then try to become an expert on that subject. Go to and finish college. Preferably studying the subject that you have already settled on that you've found you are passionate about. Take a semester or two of college abroad. Those were the funnest days of my life Make sure to have a desired profession, something that makes you more valuable than the average joe who doesnt know how to do anything. Always be independent and dont rely on anyone cause they can disapear and that will leave you in shambles. Never open yourself up totally to anyone ever. There are limits. Your SO can end up putting you into a hole of a depression that you might not ever be able to climb out of. Try to live life happiest as possible. If there are people bringing you down for any reason cut them out of your life asap.

Good luck.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Sunday, June 05, 2011

Monday, May 16, 2011

With this post I make an anatomical gift.

Upon my passing I would like my organs to be donated to whomever needs them to survive. I do not want any religious fanatics intervening. It is my choice and here I proclaim that it should be done. My uncle was on a waiting list for years because he needed new lungs. After waiting for years someone with the same blood type and body structure as his passed away in a motorcycle accident. This person specifically noted (before his passing obviously) that he wants his organs donated upon his death. Some asshole rabbis went to his families house and convinced his parents that it is against the Jewish religion to donate organs and so they didn't. Soon after my uncle died. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN WITH ME!

Saturday, May 14, 2011