Today was a good day

Today I noticed something significant. For the first time in a long time, I woke up happy. This feeling is alien to me. Normally I'd wake with a terrible feeling of hopelessness and depression. I think this is because I didn't see anything good happening anytime soon. I keep a positive attitude these days and I guess its karmic habit force that has finally kicked this in and made it emerge through the years of guk that was covering it. Lots of things are happening that I don't want to mention as I don't want to jinx myself. All the things that are happening, in my opinion, is a direct result of the positive attitude I keep, the daily meditation and also the tools and techniques I picked up in the passed couple of months.

Current

I have to admit, I don't feel like I'm soon moving to Israel. I know that I am but it doesn't feel like it. I know that anything can happen and so with my luck I'm thinking some crazy shit will happen between now and the time when I'm supposed to go (around a month). Anyway, this city is shit. I hate Brooklyn. I was in the Bronx today and I hate it there too. Was at a Yankee game with Zo. I'm definitely not a negative person so this must just be true hate for the crap city I live in. 

Nuru Kane - 'Goree' From the album 'Sigil'

Wolf in the cold

Mind = Blown

Current Read - Iron John, a book about men. By Robert Bly

A great (poetic) book about the lack of true manliness in men since the industrial revolution. Given to me by my counselor at the Betty Ford Center. 

My fancy is tickled

Classy as fuck

The internet thread of all internet threads.

Thread of the AWESOMEST places on the internet.

And another.

Rip fetching his leash.

Hurricane Irene

There's something extremely calming about sitting, relaxing and reading a book or meditating while there is so much chaos and commotion outside. I always loved contrast and this a great example of it.

Sick Shot

A couple of internet stores I used to have. Thanks archive.org!

Meditation

Israeli Defence Forces Army Reserves

I am soon moving to live in Israel where a lucrative job and nice place await me. Also, I am bringing Rip (my dog) along and so things will be good. I have already discussed with the military people there that I will be joining the Army reserves. This may sound weird but, I dont mind if there is a war and I'm called. Why? A- I will join the ranks of others in my family who have kicked ass in order to preserve our heritage. Like my pops who fought in the 6 day war and the Yom Kippur war when renegade ayrabs were advancing from every angle or B- So I can die a warriors death instead of ODing on pills or being hit by a city bus.

Mooooood

Cats in the cradle...

Free Again

For 3 years now I've been on Felony probation for some bullshit you can read about in the archives of this blog. Probation sucks. Its like a stamp on your head letting you know everyday that you fucked up. For the first year I'd have to make sure to see a probation officer assigned to me every 2 weeks. This degrading process took place downtown where all the courts are. I'd have to go there, sign my name on a list sit and wait (more often than not for hours) with people that I can only describe as NYC's worst. Simply put, low life vagrants. We'd wait there for our probation officers to call us in to there offices to ask us questions and make sure we're not getting into trouble. This always interfered with work because I had to be there on Tuesdays anytime between 10-6. I'll repeat, really fucked with my work. 2nd year I was allowed to come visit these probation officers only once a month instead of every 2 weeks. This made my life a little easier but still I'd have to find an excuse to leave work early once a month. I would normally say I'm going to the doctor and leave early or would just take the whole day off and call in sick. Finally, since I never failed a drug test or violated my probation in anyway, I was moved to what is called the Kiosk. You see, because NY is so strapped for cash and there are so many people on probation they created this booth type thing for non risk probationers. We'd have to go there, enter our pin number into a computer and place our hands into some electronic finger print reader. The computer confirms its you with the fingerprint scan and then asks you questions like "are you still working?" "were you arrested in the past month?" and that's it. This last step (the kiosk) was a lot less a pain in the ass because we wouldnt have to wait for hours to sit with a probation officer. At that low level of supervision you actually have no probation officer anymore. I knew from day one that after I serve half of my sentence (5 years probation) I would be able to ask for early release. So I did. I did this around 3 months ago and was just giving up after not hearing anything back from my sentencing judge. People on probation are not allowed to leave the state without prior permission from the courts. For reasons I will soon write about I had to get permission to go to California. A fucking headache it is. You have go in to the probation building and beg someone to help you fill the paper work to get approved to leave the state. In the process I was informed my early release was GRANTED! I was in shock when I was told. The probation officer told me I was granted early release to which I replied. I never have to come back here again (with an undertone of disbelief)? She replied "thats right have a nice life" She said it as if it meant nothing but it did to me. I'll never forget those words coming out of that chics mouth "have a nice life" Ha.

My advice to a 14 year old on the internet asking for help on how to survive this world

As a 30 year old guy, looking back at his life in retrospect, I can tell you what I'd do over. At your age I would try to find a passion. Something I absolutely love. Could be turtles could be flying planes could be anything. Then try to become an expert on that subject. Go to and finish college. Preferably studying the subject that you have already settled on that you've found you are passionate about. Take a semester or two of college abroad. Those were the funnest days of my life Make sure to have a desired profession, something that makes you more valuable than the average joe who doesnt know how to do anything. Always be independent and dont rely on anyone cause they can disapear and that will leave you in shambles. Never open yourself up totally to anyone ever. There are limits. Your SO can end up putting you into a hole of a depression that you might not ever be able to climb out of. Try to live life happiest as possible. If there are people bringing you down for any reason cut them out of your life asap.

Good luck.

Moooooooood

My life will be complete when I live in a place like this...

NYC Madness

Shut me out - Made me think of someone special to me.

With this post I make an anatomical gift.

Upon my passing I would like my organs to be donated to whomever needs them to survive. I do not want any religious fanatics intervening. It is my choice and here I proclaim that it should be done. My uncle was on a waiting list for years because he needed new lungs. After waiting for years someone with the same blood type and body structure as his passed away in a motorcycle accident. This person specifically noted (before his passing obviously) that he wants his organs donated upon his death. Some asshole rabbis went to his families house and convinced his parents that it is against the Jewish religion to donate organs and so they didn't. Soon after my uncle died. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN WITH ME!

Off

Dreaming about NYC [Hebrew]

Must. Preserve. Life.

I hate to sound cliche but I must say I am truly happy to be alive at 30. Being stuck in the city recently has really caused me to get depressed. It sometimes felt like this is the only reality I will ever see. I've read some posts on this blog from a few years ago and am slowly learning that it is because of this shit city that I've been down. I am after all one that is meant for the outdoors. I FUCKING LOVE NATURE. I love the woods, the country, the animals. I hate smog, city buses and the look of defeat on everybodys faces. Been dating a bit lately but I must say it is truly tough to meet someone who is at par with my thinking. If anyone ever came close it was a girl named Ariel whom I dated many years ago and who I will never forget.

I Miss The Old Eminem

Quick Access - GillyRoze.com

In our ever lasting quest to make things easier and keep with the American tradition of being lazy ass fuckers, I've now made it easier to access this page. GillyRoze.com

Hmm

I think simple people weigh their accomplishments against that of their fathers. With that they know where to put themselves on the social spectrum.

Today I asked the internet community what the strangest thing they ever found was while Googling the name of someone they know. 750 comments later I share the thread.

Everything from lying boyfriends to child molesting parents. Whoooah. The things people found when Googling the names of their friends, family, teachers etc...

I'll just leave this here.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” - Buddha

Because of how terrifyingly fascinating they are I've created a page with all the tsunami videos I can find

Click here for tsunami blog.

Greedy

A series documenting NYCs homeless my father did back in 1991

The urban ocean that is Mexico City - Click to see full size and to appreciate this pic 4 wut it is

Hiking the Masada

While attending school abroad at TAU in Israel we went on very many trips to different parts of the country to hike mountains and what-not. We had this one trip to the Masada coming up and we wanted to do something special. As was our custom back then we wanted to mix some sorta drug into this trip. Now this was going to be a rugged 6 hour hike and we were told to prepare. We did this by baking a good ounce or so of marijuana into a batch of brownies. We decided we'd eat them on the bus while on the way. We had this very health conscious commando type guide for this trip who was always armed (in case any Palestinians wanted to "terrorize" us). Anyone who ever went on Birthright should know exactly what I mean. But this dude was different. He was very straight laced, older and by the book. Wouldn't ever drink with us and was just a health freak square. So we're all munching on these brownies when this dude comes over from the front of the bus and asks what we're all fussing about. With that we told him we got this delicious batch of brownies that one of our American parents had sent us. Yes, we fed him some. Actually, he ate a good amount and around 1 hour later we find ourselves mid hike. Not knowing he ate pot brownies he began to exclaim he feels ill. This caused many giggles and muffled bursts of laughter. We shouldn't have laughed but we did even when he became violently ill and his face became purple like an eggplant. The rest of the trip we had to tend to him and help him with just about every step. Thats how bombed he was. Whats funny is that we were just as high but we had that little bit of knowledge that we'd done this to ourselves and it will soon pass. He did not. I can only imagine how he felt when he was overwhelmed by that feeling in his stomach. Poor bastard, I know I know I'm gonna burn...

Random

"Cause I love you, I do"

Project - For richer or poorer

Its about time I became awesome I think and so when I find time I will be going ahead and doing things that I enjoy doing again... Next thing will be this new series in which I hope to photograph homeless and raggedy looking people (not hard to find here in NYC) standing/posing in front of fortune 500 headquarters depicting the logos of multinational corporations while holding up cardboard signs saying something thoughtfully stupid like "will work for work" I will have to entice these people with drugs uhh I mean food or money and hopefully they will cooperate. I will post these pics as soon as I have em.

Places like:

Goldman Sachs

85 Broad Street, New York, NY

NYSE

11 Wall Street, NY

BOA

115 West 42nd Street, New York, NY 10036

J.P. Morgan

270 Park Ave, New York (under construction)

Hewlett Packard

2 Penn Plz # 8

New York, NY

Verizon Comm

140 West Street, New York, NY

and so on.

To promote awareness of corporate greed and display the current impact of the economy on New Yorkers. Sad but twill be fun. Did I mention I love hamentashen?

Sik - Nikes New Advert

Hey you

Fukt

14-17

Growing up in Brooklyn pre-Giulianai was fun and dangerous. Those were the days that NYC lived up to its stereotypes. The Violence, the rape, the murderers and thieves, nothing scared me more when I was 14-17 than getting my face slashed by some black dude trying to get into the bloods. Once a month it would happen to someone at my high school. Remember American History X? The curbing, that was actually a preferred tactic here for years by local crews. My father was (still is) a Jewelery photographer who together with his family immigrated to Israel before turning one after being born in Poland. He travelled to NY a few times as a young man for art exhibits and some exhibitions of his own. My mom too immigrated to Israel around the age of 1 and was raised in a moshav or farmland most of her life before meeting my dad. By the time they'd met my pops made a name for himself as a hotshot artist/photographer and I guess my mom was kinda awestruck being an art lover. They once came to NY for an exhibition and stayed. It was terribly hard for my mother and she says she cried a lot during those days, while they were integrating. I can definitely say that I lacked nothing growing up and went on vacations regularly a few times a year, lived in a very nice house and had not one complaint. The minute I hit high school and was out of the same shit hole yeshiva that I was in since 2nd grade like many, I was a new man. Reborn. Began to enjoy life. I was DJing parties a lot as that was what I chose to do buy with my bar mitzvah money and I thought it made for a good business decision. It did, and it also made me instantly cool. I was loving it and I think High School was my favorite and most exciting part of life thus far. More so than college. We were frikin crazy youths and we did during high school what frat boys wouldn,t have the nuts to do 4-7 years older than us. So this is the part where I throw in wild stories of complete shitfaceury but since my memory is complete shit I'll leave that to our guest posters.

Dumb People.

Back when I was in the electronics mail order business, some events took place that I'd like to note. Customer reviews were not all that prevalent back then and so we were sorta open to treat customers however we deemed fit. Many were straight up idiots who totally deserved to be spoken down to. This one time we had a product listed on the website for $0. It was a 65" Panasonic plasma tv. It was obviously a mistake. The person put it in his shopping cart and checked out. After an email from me explaining that it was a typographical error and that it clearly states on our terms of use section that we were not responsible for such mistakes, the customer went on to make threats explaining he's a lawyer and that he better get this $12,000 tv for $0. The person really thought he had a chance of getting it too. I had a line I used to give people who would piss me off back then and I delivered it to this at the top of my lungs. "CALL ME BACK AFTER YOU PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOU ASS!". Many more examples I can give but I'm tired so I'll update later.

Owl in Flight

My 30th

I write this post with the new notebook computer my thoughtful brother and his wife had bought for me after learning my old comp crapped out on me. It's a great gift, it truly is. Turning 30 is not a pleasure. I thought I would have had my life more in order than it currently is. I remember when I was around 23 I was sent to see a therapist and I explained to her that I must be a millionaire by the age of 30 and if I wasn't I would be absolutely devastated. Well, I'm far from it but devastated I am not. I'm just happy to have been blessed with such a great family and absolutely awesome friends who are there for me when I need them and look out for me in every respect. I haven't had gifts given to me for my birthdays in several years but this year I was given quite a few. My mother got me a kindle which I am absolutely ecstatic to have. As I was explaing to my sister in-law Rinat, I kinda like having bookshelves with a collection of my reads and feel like when people come and visit me they can sorta get a feel for what kind of person I am by simply scanning the books I have read. This will no longer be possible with my new kindle but the trade off is well worth it IMO. To compliment that my lovely older sister got me a gift card with which I can buy several books to fill the Kindle with. My dad got me an electric shaver since the one I had fell and broke into a million little pieces. My brother and his wife though spared no expense and got me the best laptop they can find. I truly like it and am very happy with it. Dont have much to say but I did feel that a post was in order. I dont care anymore to be a millionaire, I dont care to have any more money than I need to be comfortable. I do care however to get the fuck out of this god forsaken city as soon as frikin possible. Mark my words, I will soon move to a country retreat where I plan on living simply, with nature and fresh air. Homes are relatively cheap out in the mountains averaging around 130k for a beautiful pad where I can raise a family on some acreage outside of this hectic rat race of a city.

My Brother And I at His Wedding

I lost myself... at around 3.

Just cant stand the way people act when someone dies... Its as if this person became a saint and whatever negative things they might have done are out the window. Suicide is especially interesting. Peoples reactions and such. I find it weird that so many people with talent had not loving people enough to keep going. I wont lie, if it weren't for my little nephews and my family in general Ida bit the bullet a long time ago. Not because I'm depressed (or talented) but because to me its like switching the channel. Been lingering on this one like a fool entranced by what is essentially an infomercial for way too long... Hate the glossy actors, the ragged sets and the ever more repetitive scenes. I awake everyday to see the subway rats, the mold and the daily race that leads to lost dreams from our youth and lies to ourselves. Life is like a kid dreaming about Santa just before being raped by him. Reality comes in layers. Being young is our only original state. A beautiful white canvas. When we get old we get wet, wet by the paint on the walls. Some of us look like distant rainbows with a hue of grey. There is no "wet paint sign" so wherever we lean rubs off on us and some can tell where we'd been. It leaves a mark on our blackboards or our subconscious and that black board is shoved into our faces every time we wake and take stock of our lives. Pleasant things disappear quick like putting a wet cloth to our black boards. There is still a faint sign of it but happiness leaves no scars so how do we remember? What effects our daily lives are those lost beliefs we've had to sell for what we think is logical clarity. Anything, from an unpleasant look shared with you by a stranger on the street to a heated family squabble. All is, for some, reason for suicide. To restart, to reset, to repaint our canvas with colors more pleasing. Most peoples can be compared to Edvard Munch' "the scream". Dull, not bright and pleasant. So how do you paint a Mona Lisa? Leo must've been a cold mofo to do that. Anyway, until that day (which I hope I never see) where there are no longer people to hurt, the layers will continue.

New Pals

I've been making new friends and I like them. They are older than I and I get on well with them. Probably better than I do with my regular friends. Its all about picking up different chics every night for them, Its quite funny how they approach girls. Never seen the tactics they use ever before but I'm picking up on them.
Anyway, I will keep you updated!

Life

Life for me here in NY has becme boring and routine. Business has been terrible so I havent been able to splurge or shop too much. Its kind of like a movie I keep watching over and over and that movie is groundhog day. Doing the same shit over and over. Seeing the same crap all the time. I just want to move to and live peacefully in Israel.

No day but today

I saw a friends post which inspired this little note; "You know that especially nice shirt you were saving to wear for a special occasion? Put it on today! Because today IS a special day. If you have a roof over your head, food to eat, and people who love you, then celebrate today. No day but today."

Consulting

Sales

Option 1 $89.00 Option 2 $99.00 Option 3 $129.00

Brett Dennen - Ain't No Reason

Banksy

Sweet Jane

A note about the Ahm of ours

Just a little note about the goings on here, in the state of Israel. I love cultures in general but here, I find myself surrounded by people who (mostly) interact with one another as if they are family. Its strange, you treat your gas peddle, whilst driving, just a little bit different. I noticed myself doing this for the past few days and then realized most drivers here do the same. Your delicate with it as you truly feel that your getting poorer the harder you press it. If you complain about the gas prices in the states you got to get out of them a little. Since us children of Israeli migrants are accustomed to hearing the holy language only in our homes or while visiting a close friends home, for example, we feel as if the person passing us on the street having a word with his son, is actually our great uncle while visiting. Yes, our fathers mothers brother, whom we just now met. Its a lovely phenomenon really, and I im sure the children of other nations transplants feel the same. A whole nation that sounds and looks like they are family. See, this is what I try to explain to people when they warn me "dont look at everybody as family, some are dangerous". Maybe, but fuck all that, until my bubble is burst, I will continue to stick my head out of my drivers side window while my Galgalats is blaring and say to the car waiting for the light to the left of me "ma inyanim habibi" (how you doin buddy). Everyday I just randomly speak to the person standing closest to me, and no, I dont get horrified looks like "is this person insane too? Perhaps he's dangerous though, I wonder what meds hes on? Perhaps he too sees Dr. Yanowitch, my psychiatrist. He must have seen me leaving my last session and now wants money from me." No, the person next to me replies to my "hey brother, wheres the spot tonight?" or to my "tell me, where does one get a good frikin burger round here? I'm fucking starving!" naturally, and unhesitantly as if we're already in the midst of a converstaion and we've been friends for a while. Also there is a certain trust or mutual understanding between us because we're here for the same reason. Its the land that was promised to us. And we enjoy its fruits together. So, some more insight as to the workings of this great country: Any restaurant, pub, club or social gathering with more than 40 people must have a guard at the door (normally armed and very skilled in his trade). This is law. Wherever you go, wether to eat, shop or simply to the beach, you have a great uncle sitting outside who also is a trained killer raising his eye brow and/or sharing with someone a look of utter hate or disgust because his ear drum was met with the arabic language. Yup, waiting and ready to kill any horny, virgin, sand monkey screaming lalalalala running towards the place wearing a trench coat in the summer or a turban with some Iranian C4 strapped around his ass. Just looking forward to his 72 virgins. The fruits here actually have taste. Yes, its true, they do. Potent and sweet they are. The biggest problem currently, is not the Palestinians or the turks, but, the Israeli mafia/gangsters who battle between themselves and cause me great pains. Like making this restaurant I had some great goose liver at no longer accesible because the owners rivals chucked some grenades through the window the other day, in the middle of the night. Yea, it kinda sucks when you get your kaved avaz taken away from you b/c some dumb dudes who dont appreciate the Amercian appetite, wanted to send someone a message. The police here are fruitcakes and you can definately get away with yelling, swearing and throwing a hissy fit for having your day slightly disturbed. In the states, before your mouth opens to say "good day officer" you already have your skull cracked followed by a 50,000 volt electric current running through your body. Its different here. If there were to be an instance of police brutality, the nation would uproar and see to it that the police officer and the police chief find new jobs or worse. In certain areas (primarily around the beaches) thong bikinis are very prevalent and it sorta reminds me of Miami, only all of those wearing them are a true pleasure to oggle at. Israel does not have the weight problem that the US does. I suspect this will soon change though, as fast food shops are now almost as abundant as the name Osama is in Afghanistan. Early in the morning, you might think your in some cave while strolling the streets in Tel-aviv. This is due to the bats that are going on and on about something while hanging out in the trees. Rent and real estate here is relatively cheap, yet the quality of life far exceeds ours. People leave this beautiful place to pursue cash in other countries, but, those that remain are seeking something else. They are looking to enjoy life with their families and are happy with the understanding that they probably wont be rich (a prospect many Nyers cant accept). They must take 40 lessons with a driving instructor b4 being issued a very strict road exam, but they still manage to take the cake when it comes to being the worst drivers I've ever seen. Soldiers and guns are evrywhere. Mostly, they're young 18 or 19 yr old kids who are maturing and becoming men right b4 your eyes. The Israeli military always slughters the US marines all year round during joint military exercises. An Israeli friend shared with me a story: While they were taking a break (during one excercise) the Israelis were sprawled out on the ground smoking cigarrettes and chatting freely among themselves while one US marine, who, together with his platoon, had to stand in attention went and asked his superior why they cant too relax. The reply was curt, "you can relax when you learn to fight like those guys do" Many observations I have made. They are edging me towards moving here. On peoples faces, you see looks of contentment, satisfaction and warmth, while in NY it is of dread, hopelessness and anger. Anger, because they might be racist or anti-semetic or ya know, they think your ugly, fat and they feel bothered because you are breathing the same air and they're being forced to look at you. They're also pissed because they didn't "make it" like they thought they would when they left their gem of a country to seek ca$h...

Howdy Do

Its ma birfday hoorayyy... actually not that excited. Long time its been since I actually worked on my birthday as I have today. Been working @ a mail order company doing cs for the amazon division there. Things have been pretty routine. Its been a while since the wheels in my head have been turning coming up with random ideas and projects. Dont know why i've been numb. I only recently started to come out of this fog that surrounded me for a long while. Thinking more clearly nowadays. I've been on antidepressants for a while and i stopped them about 2 weeks ago. I think they've been keeping me down...To heck with them.

The run down

so it wasnt exactly my idea but im single again and not sure what to do with my time. Im gonna wait a while until i look for a new gf but who knos what will happen. For now im kinda bummed. Anyway, ill be posting here more often from now on?

Ripple Van Stinkle

Hilarious Thai Ad

4th 09 @ Assafs

Just

A long silence I break with this here post today.    Its about time I think... These posts are meant for friends I haven't spoken to in a while, some family too. Like it says in the song above "we must go fight for lincoln" well thats what I'm out doing everyday, Im fighting for lincoln...  for Franklin. Every one of them "honest" Abes on each penny today is a tougher battle to get. Anyhow, been very much to myself, me and my girl. Fell victim to the facebook twitter fads and have been unloyal to the mighty blogmaster. I shalln't ever do this again. What will my great grand kids know of me if not for this space. So I ride my dirtbike often, I walk my dog least 3 times a day. He gives me the exercise my body needs to remain fit. He looks at me now as if saying "daddy is it time yet? No? OK Ill just plop back down and try again later" Since I quit smoking my body has gained at least 2 stone and it filled in places correctly. Shock its gone through not used to being so clean and alien to toxic shit. Everything I put in it I feel. Sugar in soda makes me jittery. Its the best thing I've ever done.

 I too wish I was home but not in dear old Dublin...not in Brooklyn either. Not anywhere. Not anytime... Just.