Dead Sea

Bandit's Roost - 1888 Old School NYC

The fuck?

A Models Pose

It seems Rip is in Love

My Girl & I

Go karting in Haifa w/Alona and her friends.

Ida taken 1st had I not gone NY on em and smashed into everyone.

                                        

Karolina - Af Echad

Good tymes

I am among true occupiers here in Israel. We are surrounded by and intertwined with ayrabs. You can tell them apart off the bat. I should mention, I quarrel with no one until they crap in my lawn and have no problem with hard working people like the many ayrabs are. Certain smells remind me of times I've visited and I'm then reminded --- I now live here. A warm feeling I get. It's like some switch was turned on somewhere upstairs that says now is Gils time. So, I run around in this Peugeot 206 I picked up, I keep Rip more company then he's used to and am reaching a level of appreciation for music unlike any before. For an eternity I had to keep to myself myself (take a sec)... I would not give nor would I care to take. Kinda like parve ice cream or cake. Always on the "never getting married" tip. If I was given just a minute chance of someone possessing some of the qualities of a great girl, Ida been ecstatic. I wasn't though, the switch has been flicked and my "luck" is beaming. I'm in a familiar place, one of possibilities, where what happens is things. A place into where I was always told things will fall. I never believed.

...

The art of Michael Lisowski

Current times

The current

I'm finding it very much liberating to live here in Israel. So many changes. I feel that here I can conform people and things to my liking rather than having them shape me. I kinda feel like for over 30 years I've been swimming through muddy waters looking for a place where I belong. My home. It's a certain comfort that's taking me back to times I used to dream big and felt I can change things.  All this seems possible again. In a way I feel like the only person living on earth. This because I am very much in my own world. Different I am and I care not. I feel misunderstood but it really doesn't phase me as I can't expect a herd to understand why they're being herded. People in this country see some sort of novelty in me because I did Aliyah. Whenever I mention it to people I get tangled in an exchange of words that  lasts long as fuck. Also, I think people here feel Americans are easily led on or taken advantage of.  Here I am, home from work, music blasting, reminiscing. Not long ago Danman asked me if I miss NY and was surprised when my reply was "fuck no".

Inspiring

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in GRASS VALLEY, CA. It was believed that he had nothing left of any value.


Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. 




One nurse took her copy to Missouri. 


The old man's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the St. Louis Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.


And this little old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet.




Crabby Old Man... 
What do you see nurses? . . ... . . What do you see?
What are you thinking . . . . . When you're looking at me?
A crabby old man . .. . . . Not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .... . . . . With faraway eyes?


Who dribbles his food . . . .. . And makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . . . . . 'I do wish you'd try!'
Who seems not to notice .. .. . .... . The things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?


Who, resisting or not . . . . . Lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . .. . .. . The long day to fill?
Is that what you're thinking? . .... . . . Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse . . . .. . You're not looking at me.


I'll tell you who I am. . . . .... . As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, . . . .. . As I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of Ten . .. . . .. With a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters . . .. ... .. Who love one another.


A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. With wings on his feet.
Dreaming that soon now . . . . ... A lover he'll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . . .. My heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows . . . . . That I promised to keep.


At Twenty-Five, now . . . .... . I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other .. . . . . With ties that should last.


At Forty, my young sons . . ... . . Have grown and are gone,
But my woman's beside me . . . . . To see I don't mourn.
At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,
Again, we know children .. . . . My loved one and me.


Dark days are upon me . . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future . . . . . Shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing . .... . . . Young of their own.
And I think of the years .. . . .. . And the love that I've known.


I'm now an old man . . . . ..... And nature is cruel.
Tis jest to make old age . . . . . Look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles . . . . . Grace and vigor, depart.
There is now a stone . . . . Where I once had a heart.


But inside this old carcass . . . . . A young guy still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . My battered heart swells.
I remember the joys . . . . . I remember the pain.
And I'm loving and living . . . ... . Life over again.


I think of the years, all too few . . . . ... Gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . .. . . That nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people . . . ... . Open and see.
Not a crabby old man . ... . . Look closer . .. . See ME!!




Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. 


We will all, one day, be there, too!

Ego Sum In Diligo

Whenever asked why it is I don't smile often I am reminded of the shit that i try to forget in regards to what goes on in this world. The act of not smiling often or of not being happy-go-lucky, like my dog, isn't caused by some recent thought or immediate occurrence much more so than it is by the manifestation of a jaded depression. Absolutely sickens me to see Mayor Bloomberg throw around his cronie cops arresting and abusing innocent people that see through the tint people like the Bilderbergs plastered around  them as if saying "alright you had your little time to have fun here in Zucotti park now go home you little vagrants". It sucks to say this but we need to beat some people in congress and the senate much like the Libyans did when they captured Qadafi until they accept the change that's coming. I don't agree with the majority saying peaceful protesting is the way to go. Our governments (worldwide) should be taken back from whence they've strayed, the  American way, with numbers and guns.  On a lighter note - definitely going through some chemical changes here in the holy land. I'm pretty sure I know who the culprit is... Life feels more real. I can say with confidence that I will move and shake things in this little country.Gut feeling.

Moooood

And I thought my dogs breed was huge

Good Things

I've been saying it's been a while since I've felt the way I do. Truth is I never felt this way. Although crap from the past is still somewhat covering up (like resin) the feeling of ecstatic happiness I know I want to feel because of where I currently stand, still, I see amazing things and great times lying ahead. Never before have I met someone who I seriously feel can compliment me well in the years to come, one who I feel may be a good mother to my kids. It is an exciting and at the same time wonderful thing to have had this happen to me so soon into my integration here. I imagine the content on this blog may just be influenced by this beautiful person in the future.

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Road Trippin' [Official Music Video]

Manu Chao - Me gustas tu

Integrating in Israel

Ya know, life is weird and you can find yourself in random places at any given time. Right now I lay in my flat in the town of Hadera in the center of Israel. It's kinda hot but I'm avoiding putting on the AC and instead opened all the windows. My place is scantily filled with the basics. I await a cousin of mine who will be bringing me a fridge. I scored a tv, bed, coffee table, tv table, some chairs for the island I have in the kitchen and all the necessities to fill a kitchen very graciously given to me by a distant family member. She will soon be receiving a thank you card. She will probably be surprised as I imagine this isn't done very often here. Still I will stick to proper etiquette and take the 5 minutes to write one.  Oh, I also I have a large cabinet that I can fit all my clothes in. Work is good. I am being paid the same as a Nigerian but I will keep from scamming as I live in a land that is plentiful and the money is definitely not the reason I came here. Hmm, I do worry though about being able to keep the essentials I need to survive. As they say here " Iye beseder" It'll be ok. My dog is my base, my anchor. He was bit by another Israeli dog and was bleeding profusely over the weekend. I repaired him and he is now laying next to me watching intently as a miniscule ant walks by his nose. It is too small for me to care. I find I am luckier here with the ladies then I am back home. Women will come and go here and I will pay mind to them as much as I do pages in a magazine as I flip through them. This, until I find one with whom I want to settle. I will write more here about my integration into Israeli society but for now I must tend to the wound that I am trying to keep from being infected on my dogs ear.

Live feed of NYC protests.

Watch live streaming video from globalrevolution at livestream.com

This link contains amazing fruits of knowledge

knowledge

Where I want to be

Observations

I'm currently staying at my brothers out in Long Island. It's calm and serene here unlike Brooklyn. It's a good place to come and relax, to reflect. I'm using my time here to detox from cigarettes. It's about time I quit those damn things. I'm free of any other foreign substance these days and this is the only one that remains.
I find it very funny, but at the same time not, that friends keep telling me they quit using drugs/taking pills while it's obvious that they did not. They wouldn't be so boisterous and loud, so oblivious to the people around them, looking at them with fear and disgust. It is embarrassing to be around them and I find it very odd that I never noticed it before. I guess I too was loud and obnoxious and never once looked at myself and my actions and asked, what the hell are you doing? I guess now that I am clean, I am a lot more reserved and conscious of my surroundings, of other peoples right to speak, of their opinions and their space. No longer a jerk unaware of his disposition. 

Click

Beauty

It all started with a smile from a girl. She was receptive to me when I was talking to her and suddenly a guy comes out of the blue and tells me to beat it. Since I was in my neighborhood and outside of my local pool hall I told them to "get the fuck outta here" before somethin bad happens to them... They took off and I went up to play pool. The whole time while playing pool I was sorry I didnt knock that dude out. It was like an itch I couldnt scratch. Lo and behold 20 minutes after he left this same dude came up to the pool hall and asked to me come outside. Now Im from Brooklyn and I knew very well that he had a mob of friends outside waiting for me to come out. I told him sure be right there, turned around and returned with a right hook to this guys face. He was out. He stumbled back downstairs and I went back to my pool game knowing what was coming next. Within 1 minute the pool hall was filled with this dudes little gangster friends. Literally 25-30 of them. I blended in with the rest of the pool players while the leader of the group very menacingly asked "whos the tough guy" I quckly took stock and thought about what to do. A fight will no doubt end with me getting the crap beat out of me. I thought the best coarse of action would be to demoralize them by taking out their leader. So when he was right next to me again asking whos the tough guy while the whole pool hall was silent I bent back and smashed the pool stick across this little punks face. He fell and was out for the count. Then all hell broke loose. Pool sticks were swinging, both my friends and the rest were in a major brawl. I might have took out 2 more kids after realizing they started to pull out knives. I told a friend of mine its time to go and bolted towards the door. I ran outside and towards a bagel shop for safety. I quickly realized that there were 2 guys chasing me and so I ran for my life. I finally made it to the door of the place when I felt a slight slap on my back. I hopped over the counter of this bagel place and grabbed a huge bagel cutting knife and proceeded towards the door ( I was later able to see all this in the police station on the video surveillance cam) I Proceed towards the door when someone stopped me and said I was bleeding. It turns out one of the guys chasing me was able to (with an extended arm) slice me in the back. So I have a scar about 2 inches long going down the middle of my back. My friend who was'nt familiar with my neighborhood took off from the pool hall soon after I did but ran the wrong way. They caught up with him stabbed and broke around 10 pool sticks over his head and back. I owe that kid my life.

Today was a good day

Today I noticed something significant. For the first time in a long time, I woke up happy. This feeling is alien to me. Normally I'd wake with a terrible feeling of hopelessness and depression. I think this is because I didn't see anything good happening anytime soon. I keep a positive attitude these days and I guess its karmic habit force that has finally kicked this in and made it emerge through the years of guk that was covering it. Lots of things are happening that I don't want to mention as I don't want to jinx myself. All the things that are happening, in my opinion, is a direct result of the positive attitude I keep, the daily meditation and also the tools and techniques I picked up in the passed couple of months.

Current

I have to admit, I don't feel like I'm soon moving to Israel. I know that I am but it doesn't feel like it. I know that anything can happen and so with my luck I'm thinking some crazy shit will happen between now and the time when I'm supposed to go (around a month). Anyway, this city is shit. I hate Brooklyn. I was in the Bronx today and I hate it there too. Was at a Yankee game with Zo. I'm definitely not a negative person so this must just be true hate for the crap city I live in. 

Nuru Kane - 'Goree' From the album 'Sigil'

Wolf in the cold

Mind = Blown

Current Read - Iron John, a book about men. By Robert Bly

A great (poetic) book about the lack of true manliness in men since the industrial revolution. Given to me by my counselor at the Betty Ford Center. 

My fancy is tickled

Classy as fuck

The internet thread of all internet threads.

Thread of the AWESOMEST places on the internet.

And another.

Rip fetching his leash.

Hurricane Irene

There's something extremely calming about sitting, relaxing and reading a book or meditating while there is so much chaos and commotion outside. I always loved contrast and this a great example of it.

Sick Shot

A couple of internet stores I used to have. Thanks archive.org!

Meditation

Israeli Defence Forces Army Reserves

I am soon moving to live in Israel where a lucrative job and nice place await me. Also, I am bringing Rip (my dog) along and so things will be good. I have already discussed with the military people there that I will be joining the Army reserves. This may sound weird but, I dont mind if there is a war and I'm called. Why? A- I will join the ranks of others in my family who have kicked ass in order to preserve our heritage. Like my pops who fought in the 6 day war and the Yom Kippur war when renegade ayrabs were advancing from every angle or B- So I can die a warriors death instead of ODing on pills or being hit by a city bus.

Mooooood

Cats in the cradle...

Free Again

For 3 years now I've been on Felony probation for some bullshit you can read about in the archives of this blog. Probation sucks. Its like a stamp on your head letting you know everyday that you fucked up. For the first year I'd have to make sure to see a probation officer assigned to me every 2 weeks. This degrading process took place downtown where all the courts are. I'd have to go there, sign my name on a list sit and wait (more often than not for hours) with people that I can only describe as NYC's worst. Simply put, low life vagrants. We'd wait there for our probation officers to call us in to there offices to ask us questions and make sure we're not getting into trouble. This always interfered with work because I had to be there on Tuesdays anytime between 10-6. I'll repeat, really fucked with my work. 2nd year I was allowed to come visit these probation officers only once a month instead of every 2 weeks. This made my life a little easier but still I'd have to find an excuse to leave work early once a month. I would normally say I'm going to the doctor and leave early or would just take the whole day off and call in sick. Finally, since I never failed a drug test or violated my probation in anyway, I was moved to what is called the Kiosk. You see, because NY is so strapped for cash and there are so many people on probation they created this booth type thing for non risk probationers. We'd have to go there, enter our pin number into a computer and place our hands into some electronic finger print reader. The computer confirms its you with the fingerprint scan and then asks you questions like "are you still working?" "were you arrested in the past month?" and that's it. This last step (the kiosk) was a lot less a pain in the ass because we wouldnt have to wait for hours to sit with a probation officer. At that low level of supervision you actually have no probation officer anymore. I knew from day one that after I serve half of my sentence (5 years probation) I would be able to ask for early release. So I did. I did this around 3 months ago and was just giving up after not hearing anything back from my sentencing judge. People on probation are not allowed to leave the state without prior permission from the courts. For reasons I will soon write about I had to get permission to go to California. A fucking headache it is. You have go in to the probation building and beg someone to help you fill the paper work to get approved to leave the state. In the process I was informed my early release was GRANTED! I was in shock when I was told. The probation officer told me I was granted early release to which I replied. I never have to come back here again (with an undertone of disbelief)? She replied "thats right have a nice life" She said it as if it meant nothing but it did to me. I'll never forget those words coming out of that chics mouth "have a nice life" Ha.

My advice to a 14 year old on the internet asking for help on how to survive this world

As a 30 year old guy, looking back at his life in retrospect, I can tell you what I'd do over. At your age I would try to find a passion. Something I absolutely love. Could be turtles could be flying planes could be anything. Then try to become an expert on that subject. Go to and finish college. Preferably studying the subject that you have already settled on that you've found you are passionate about. Take a semester or two of college abroad. Those were the funnest days of my life Make sure to have a desired profession, something that makes you more valuable than the average joe who doesnt know how to do anything. Always be independent and dont rely on anyone cause they can disapear and that will leave you in shambles. Never open yourself up totally to anyone ever. There are limits. Your SO can end up putting you into a hole of a depression that you might not ever be able to climb out of. Try to live life happiest as possible. If there are people bringing you down for any reason cut them out of your life asap.

Good luck.

Moooooooood

My life will be complete when I live in a place like this...

NYC Madness

Shut me out - Made me think of someone special to me.

With this post I make an anatomical gift.

Upon my passing I would like my organs to be donated to whomever needs them to survive. I do not want any religious fanatics intervening. It is my choice and here I proclaim that it should be done. My uncle was on a waiting list for years because he needed new lungs. After waiting for years someone with the same blood type and body structure as his passed away in a motorcycle accident. This person specifically noted (before his passing obviously) that he wants his organs donated upon his death. Some asshole rabbis went to his families house and convinced his parents that it is against the Jewish religion to donate organs and so they didn't. Soon after my uncle died. DO NOT LET THIS HAPPEN WITH ME!

Off

Dreaming about NYC [Hebrew]

Must. Preserve. Life.

I hate to sound cliche but I must say I am truly happy to be alive at 30. Being stuck in the city recently has really caused me to get depressed. It sometimes felt like this is the only reality I will ever see. I've read some posts on this blog from a few years ago and am slowly learning that it is because of this shit city that I've been down. I am after all one that is meant for the outdoors. I FUCKING LOVE NATURE. I love the woods, the country, the animals. I hate smog, city buses and the look of defeat on everybodys faces. Been dating a bit lately but I must say it is truly tough to meet someone who is at par with my thinking. If anyone ever came close it was a girl named Ariel whom I dated many years ago and who I will never forget.

I Miss The Old Eminem

Quick Access - GillyRoze.com

In our ever lasting quest to make things easier and keep with the American tradition of being lazy ass fuckers, I've now made it easier to access this page. GillyRoze.com

Hmm

I think simple people weigh their accomplishments against that of their fathers. With that they know where to put themselves on the social spectrum.

Today I asked the internet community what the strangest thing they ever found was while Googling the name of someone they know. 750 comments later I share the thread.

Everything from lying boyfriends to child molesting parents. Whoooah. The things people found when Googling the names of their friends, family, teachers etc...

I'll just leave this here.

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” - Buddha

Because of how terrifyingly fascinating they are I've created a page with all the tsunami videos I can find

Click here for tsunami blog.

Greedy

A series documenting NYCs homeless my father did back in 1991

The urban ocean that is Mexico City - Click to see full size and to appreciate this pic 4 wut it is

Hiking the Masada

While attending school abroad at TAU in Israel we went on very many trips to different parts of the country to hike mountains and what-not. We had this one trip to the Masada coming up and we wanted to do something special. As was our custom back then we wanted to mix some sorta drug into this trip. Now this was going to be a rugged 6 hour hike and we were told to prepare. We did this by baking a good ounce or so of marijuana into a batch of brownies. We decided we'd eat them on the bus while on the way. We had this very health conscious commando type guide for this trip who was always armed (in case any Palestinians wanted to "terrorize" us). Anyone who ever went on Birthright should know exactly what I mean. But this dude was different. He was very straight laced, older and by the book. Wouldn't ever drink with us and was just a health freak square. So we're all munching on these brownies when this dude comes over from the front of the bus and asks what we're all fussing about. With that we told him we got this delicious batch of brownies that one of our American parents had sent us. Yes, we fed him some. Actually, he ate a good amount and around 1 hour later we find ourselves mid hike. Not knowing he ate pot brownies he began to exclaim he feels ill. This caused many giggles and muffled bursts of laughter. We shouldn't have laughed but we did even when he became violently ill and his face became purple like an eggplant. The rest of the trip we had to tend to him and help him with just about every step. Thats how bombed he was. Whats funny is that we were just as high but we had that little bit of knowledge that we'd done this to ourselves and it will soon pass. He did not. I can only imagine how he felt when he was overwhelmed by that feeling in his stomach. Poor bastard, I know I know I'm gonna burn...

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