So the secret service has called me thrice this week. It seems its fraud season and spanish peope down in Miami are using good folks credit cards to order tvs and other things from my website. When special agent Eric S (lets just say) called me on monday and said he was from the secret service my mind began to race and i said what did I do now? He chcuckled and said he was calling about a certain order I had. The day prior I called a customer to let him know I suspected an order I had was fraudulent. Normally I just put these in the cancelled bin and dont bother with calling and hassleing myself with even informing these people. These days though I try to do whats right. Also, these fuckers click on my links and I pay for that. So the owner of the card said yeah some guy has been trying to use his card to buy lots of things online. I can tell when its fraud cuz they put on the order the correct billing address and then they add an alternate shipping address which in most fraudulent cases is in Miami. The spaniards down there are true scammers. So I asked the secret service guy, isnt your job to protect our shmuck president (not with those exact words). He said they are the ones that handle credit card fraud. He asked me what info i can provide and I gave him the guys IP address and phone # and the address he requested the item to be delivered to. I then suggested I send him an email stating the item has shipped and he should be there to recieve it on a certain date and time. The agent was happy with this suggestion and I shared with him the date and time the stupid shmuck will be there to pick up the tv. I initially told the card owner to call the police and report this and so he did. I also told him to share with them my # so if they needed any more info i can help. I expected a sheriff or maybe even the FBI to call but definately was surprised when the secret service called. I hope they got the fucker. Yesterday I treated myself to some rack of lamb at a steak joint nearby. It a classy place with a guy playing a piano and it is very relaxing. I brought my laptop hoping they had wifi and they did. From there I got some work done and updated the pics you see below. The head chef came over to ask how everything was and I explained i love their raqck of lamb and their Mother Milk Beer (which is the darkest they have). His name is Crest. Its weird but everyone around here has weird names. I guess mine fits in well. So this guy is around my age we chatted for a bit about how bland the party scene is around here is and he suggested I come out with him and the other guys from this steak place on sat night. He introduced me to the other chefs which are all guys around my age as is he. They seem cool but who knows. I guess Ill go out with them to this party in Woodstock in the same place I've been once where the people were very friendly. The girls outnumbered the guys 5 to 1! I'm glad to be making new local friends up here. They, like me moved up here after having enough of the race in NYC. I can relate with them. So to end this post I would like to share with you an email I sent some lawyers after they threatened to shut down my site because of (Infingement) They asked me to pull down all sony products (which I dont sell anyway) from my site. It is from a law firm that was retained by Sony. Let me first say that I never was scared of lawyers as I get threatened by many of them regularly. I also hate them because they chose a career that they thought will bring them prestige and respect. They get this from stupid small minded people. Actually even good people respect some for all the wrong reasons. Some good people respect the wealthy only because they are wealthy. I think this is the stupidest thing in the world. It is the hard working simple people that fix our lamp posts in the street or milk the cows for the creamm in our coffee that I beleive deserve respect. Anyhow here is the email:
Dear sleazy lawyers, all Sony products have been removed from our site. You can now take your accusations of infringement and stick them up your ass. Thank You.
HERES ANOTHER FROM AND TO A CUSTOMER TRYING TO THREATEN ME: iTS A LONG CONVO WITH MANY EMAILS SO I WILL JHUST PUT HERE THE PERTINENT STUFF. HE WANTED ME TO MATCH THE PRICE OF A IRREPUTABLE COMPANY:
FROM HIM:
Ok, here's a link to webpage for the company mentioned:
http://electronicsshowplace.com/product_info.php?products_id=94854&network=pricegrabber
Also, you can do a pricegrabber or google search and find a number of places that sell and ship for $100 cheaper.
Finally, please show me on your website where it discloses that I would be charged a 10% processing fee. Your site mentions a 10% processing for post shipping cancellations, but this order has not shipped. Let me warn you now that I am an attorney for a living and I will not tolerate any attempt to scam me. I want this order cancelled immediately and if you attempt to charge me 10%, I assure you that I will escalate this matter. Please confirm ASAP that this will be done and we can end this now with no further inconvenience to either party.
Jeff
FROM ME TO HIM:
Jeff, your threats dont tickle our fear whatsoever. If you are an attorney, first let me say im sorry to hear that you chose that profession but we still will have to follow our policy. Second under our cancellation policy it states clearly (under our sole discretion) We notified you of these charges and you oked them. Attorney shmatorney we deal with them all day. Trust that I am not here to make things difficult for you. The company whos link you provided does not advertise on any reputable websites. I can find you a company that will sell it to you for $700 less than us. But, you will get an open box or refurbished set. All we do is try to get people the best price and some dont appreciate it. You know, I work on a farm from 5:30 in the morning until 9 not for the money as I do not take a penny from the owner of this farm but because I love animals. When I bring the hay fro the cows there is look of appreciation in their eyes. We get you the bottom line lowest price possible and then you threaten us. Unbelieveable.
I truly am sorry that you had to be inconveninced here but you were charged for the tv already and we pay a fee to do that. I might be able to get the fee lowered for you but not by much. I think if you understood who it is you are dealing with you wouldnt care to threaten me. Im a good guy. I dont scam people. These are just the terms that had to set to cover us from fraudulent orders. Dont take offense or get angry. It isnt worth it. We deal with many people everyday and im sure you are a great guy (regardless of the fact that your a lawyer) Just let us know how to proceed or if you prefer you can use the number below to call me.
HIS RESPONSE:
I'm shocked that this is how you respond to customers. All I have tried to do is purchase a TV from your company on the terms and conditions that you advertise on your website. Maybe I overeacted by throwing out the attorney line (which I am), but you have to understand that I was not happy to see your email with a reference to a 10% processing fee for cancelling the order. I cannot find a disclaimer anywhere on your website for such a fee for a pre-shipment cancellation. Is such a disclaimer exists, please send me a link it.
So I ask you, respectfully, please let's cancel this order, not charge any processing fees and let's be done with it. I'm honestly not trying to be difficult, I just want to resolve this amicably.
Thanks,
Jeff
I cancelled this shmucks order with a 7% fee instead of ten and he was happy.
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Thanx, it was sent.