Sunday, September 30, 2007

The Current

So Im back home and I must say, good friends I have. Cant say much more except that its terribly hot and humid out. My friends have been showing me a good time and Im appreciating it cos hard work lies right around the corner. Been out and about. I've got to say that this city that everyone wants to visit, that everyone has heard of, is my fucking playground.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Aussie Slang

I am now in Los angeles. Landed here after taking a flight from Aussie to new Zealand. I drove my unregistered car to the airport in aussie and left it in the short term parking. I flew over to NZ where the main loong flight awaited me. I took a sedative my cousin gave me and it knocked me out. 11 hours passed and the whole time I slept. The last flight is now boarding from LAX to JFK. Danman is scooping me with a j ready rolled. I just called him to confirm he is scooping me and he informed that my sis gave birth. This werks out very well and im glad ill be home for the bris. So, just some aussie things ill type here b4 i 4get them. A chick is a "sheila". Someone got wut they deserved "fair dinkum" Bloody oath or bloody hell is said wen somethings unbelieveble. No worries and cheers we all know. They cut stuf short and say see you in the arvo (meaning afternoon) Pack of smokes is a deck. Sweet as instead of sweet. And the last I shall use to represent the time I had in Australia. Fully Sick!

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Duudes Im Coming Home

Its been a long and very eventful time this past 6 months. But, like all good things it has come to an end. I shall land in NYC saturday night. At 12 midnight. Dans coming to scoop me and he better not be late ya hear ya silly bastard. Anyway, im stoked to come home... Lots to share.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Married On Brighton Beach

I've kinda been scared to get pulled over since it never has been a pleasurable experience. And so when the lights flashed behind me and the woop woop that comes along hit me I began to worry. Was on my way bak from johnies cos he just got bak from overseas and we had a few. Also had a lil bud in my pocket. Hmm I shud hide under the seat im thinking. The officer comes up and asks for my license. here ya go. Do u know this car is unregistered sir? why no it was given to me for a week by a backpacker who is currently in Bali. HOw long are you here in Australia. I thought 1 month owuld sound good and thats wut I sed. They went bak to their car with a backward frontfacing walk as if suspicous of me. Wouldnt be surptised if they thought I was a crazy serual killer from the boondocks with these crazy horns Im sporting. They went and did ther checking. All the while I am shitting bricks wondering wut im in for. In a foreign land. The officer came back and sed Under these special circumstances Im not giving u a ticket (special circumstances meaning he cant do shit cos my nys drivers licence) but u have to park the car on the side and find another way home. He seemed so cheery and I was so relieved but at the same time tired. Since the wind was blowing in my direction I asked if i can drive it home. "YEEA NO WORRIES" I fucking love this place. So 2 days ago my mates yaniv and sophie got married. It was an amzing day. 6 of us not counting the midget that came to marry them chilling by the brighton beach shore. Then we took off in a limo to the Stokehouse. An upper class eatery in St Kilda. The day turned out to be an excellent one on which to get married and will be one to remember.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

The Daily Current

I mark a new day by putting on a fresh T shirt. I am doing some guerilla internet marketing work for a friend of my cousins who has a steakhouse in the center of the city. I jump into the passenger side of my car, find my steering wheel there and using it I drive into the city, park it illegally, jump on my board and go to werk like the rest of the city sheep in the mng. Its a bit diferent tho. What im doing for the owner of this restaurant is what I do best. I like to go up to the office, take off my jacket and get to work. Nowadays my belly remains filled with steak. I had the meal b4 the fast at Sauls (the steak joint owner) and then came back to this house to reflect. The day of the kippur fast passed quickly but one thing I noticed is that things move alot slower and this allows for excellent reflection. Being that ur taken bak to "just basics" everything manmade and technological you are detached of. Roaming around like a cave man sent to the future. Yairs been making a fuss bout the $200 he owes me for the motorcycle I sold him and I'd very much love to slap him. Ofcoarse I cant slap him being in Aussie. So prim and proper everyone is I'd be treated like I just raped the Prime Ministers daughter. Having slapped a few people whilst growing up in NY I can seriously say this is not a place you want to go around flagrantly slapping anybody. Anyway hes due to pay today after putting it off for a while. Silly Israeli knos better. I must say that I truly do miss NYC. What I miss is the litter and the filthy people. Pissed off and insane degenerates that cant ever fathom saying no worries mate.


Ali Farka.. He Wasnt Pretty But His Music Was Awesome

Sunday, September 16, 2007

A Friend With Weed Is A Friend Indeed

Nursing a toothache means getting viked off ma face and that is exactly where I am right now. Off my face. Dont member how i got here but i am. I think it started with a visit to the chemist. ya ya the chemist. There i got ma fix and my toothache disapeared but along with it went my sanity. tsall good. Dont really need it right now. Im painting a masterpiece named the gilly of the rose. Ya ,it will be superb. The met and the louvre will be begging for the gilly of the rose. The werkings of my mind sometimes scares me. Dont get it really. I fear I'll never get on to well with any one person. Been lone for a while. Whatevers in my head has been mashed like potatoes. My head is hollow. I empty it often in order to think clearly but with wut. Austria Australia what the fucks the diference right bush? This ferry faggot John Howard has been PM here for too long I think. 11 years and no one has shot him yet. Try pulling that shit in the US ya silly old bastard. My friend Yanivs a friend indeed. Always rolls one for each of us. Not looking forward to this fast. Empty belly doesnt fancy me much. I like it wen its filled with panadeine codeine or any other damn deine that fluffs me up like a wicked cloud on a stormy day. Oh, sanity, there you are. Think you can hide under the couch huh? Why do you run from me? Come back!

Sunset On The Mornington Peninsula

Thursday, September 13, 2007


Of what I now gathered, it isn't compliant that the aussies are, its obedient. Don't wear your helmet or ur seat belt and you get zapped with a $100 fine. Let it sit for 2 months and it becomes a $1000. Don't pay it and you are a terrorist. A well organized system governments have to herd. Being that my whip is unregistered fines are not an issue and it allows for a good outside perspective.

Waaow now buddy has gone and shat himself and all the groomers are overbooked for 2 weeks. Why in the fuck did this have to happen.


The best thing I ever did in my life was drop this shit business I was in. So very calm and worry free I am these days and its unfamiliar for me to feel this way. Im used to having to worry about this that or the other thing and now I dont. Can start fresh and do exactly that which pleases me. I must thank my british friend Paul cos he convinced me that leaving his stressful biz was the best thing he ever did. I must agree. Having no worries is truly priceless.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

The J-dub New Year

I have just confided in a friend of my cousins that the best thing that happened to me since I began travelling was meeting my cousin here. He is now in Israel but has organized for me to have dinner at his friends. I went to a south african synagogue today. The choir sang and I swear there was a hint of tribal african influence mixed into our good old torah songs. Then we made our way back to his home where A fine dinner awaited us. Chops, Avocado salad and many other beautiful things I was able to feast on. In the company of excellent people. Great conversation and an all around good time was had. All the while sipping on either wine or beer. Same traditions but on the other side of the world. I have to admit, other than NYC this here is where I feel the most at home. Its because of the quality people I met thru my cousin that I feel this way. Very comfotable. I make it a thing not to mention the names of people I like here and so I wont mention the name of the fine family with whom I dined this evening but a warm thank you is very much in order.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

A Stupendous Day Just Mucking Around

For so many reasons today was a most excellent day. Cant share and wont but twas. Squires Loft and La La Land are places to remember.

Monday, September 10, 2007


I'd be lying if I said much was going on these days. Been watching the world pass. Slowly. Along with this house came 2 little brats. Kimmy likes to lick my face and stick her nose in it in the mngs to get me up. I favored her over little quiet buddy in the beggining. But then I figured it all out. Shes has this strong hold over buddy in the sense that she does not allow him to come and get pet as she likes to get. The result is buddy sitting lonely on the side like cinderella. If he attempts she ushers him over to where im not looking, growls and threatens to bite off his face. Yes, Ive seen it happen one day. Then she comes to me peachy and bubbly as if nothing had happened. Scheming lil bitch. So, i drove off the other night in seacrh of this nice steak house. I figured id treat myself since myy cuz left me a wad of cash for babysitting my cousins. Drove out of town in a clouded stupor and was surprised when I got lost. Decided to get drive thru at Mcdonalds and come home. I dont care much about the outside world nowadays. Its all just annoying noise. Passing a pub on my way back from nowhere sat night I noticed the popular spot in St Kilda. People and chat were spilling out of every crevice of this place like fat on a fat lady. I truly do wonder, is there really that much to talk about? Is what your saying really that interesting? I doubt it. But ill prob pretend it is had we ever met. Trust that I will pretend.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

My Car And My Bike

My cam has been out of order cos the memory card was shot. I now got a new one and will be uploading more Aussie pics and vids then ever b4.

Saturday, September 01, 2007

Belligerent In Oz

Like a little fucking amateur I puked my face out yesterday whilst attending a friends engagement party in Warrigal Australia. An hour out of Melbourne into country land I went to say goodbye to my mates freedom and also to hunt for a chic to share my new pad with. Yaniv very much wants me to stay here in OZ as he is and so hes trying to set me up with one of his Aussie fiances friends. Quite a selection there was but before I cud take aim I realized that I was way too drunk. Had to go outside and wen I did I noticed the building was doing loops like a computer screen when caught on video. This dreadful feeling is familiar to me but I havent experienced it in the 6 months I've been getting pissed and travelling. Every little bit of heure d'ouvrs spewed out like a fire hose exiting my mouth. I was huddled up and cowering next to a car in the corner of the lot when someone screemed in horror "you thru up on my car" I tried to mumble something and noticed the chic saw my face. No further explanation was needed. Then Juliya, a pretty friend of the bride to be came out after hearing about a man dying in the front. She and I played the dare to stare game ater meeting. I was too drunk to care. She helped me to recoop and was sincere. We exchanged #s and she will be coming to visit Melbourne soon. Warrigal is a country town with country Australian folk. I like these people. I am so very blessed to be here home on the day after and not still there puking. Anyway, before I begin to get shit for this post let me say that that episode last night marks the end of my belligerent drinking. I've prob sed that 1000 timees but the truth is yesterday nights occurences are exactly the reason that I dont like alcohol. Would rather smoke. Never puked from that.