Wednesday, July 25, 2007

I Miss U

On a relatively warm day I throw my hoody over my head and look down as I walk down Swanston St in the Central Business District. As I peak up I see people smiling and lauphing, big teeth like Mr. Ed. My face is cold and still as a stone. "G'day no worries mate" is all I seem to hear. Well fuck that shit, it aint a good day and there are worries MATE! I am beginning to get homesick. I miss the luxuries my home country provides. I miss being sure about where I will sleep. I miss my family. I miss having people around that know me. I miss paying an even buck for a coke or 50 cents for a coffee. I truly miss knowing I can start working anytime in-order to buy things I want & need like food or clothing. Here, im like the Israelis or the Mexicans back home. I have to get jobs on the side like an immigrant. Cash only since I dont have a work permit. Today I walked out of a training course where these curry shcmucks were trying to convince me to screw people out of their hard earned cash by locking them into cell phone contracts that did them no good. I was supposed to sell voip which im fine with but they were trying to switch me to this. Anyway I sized them up and can easily tell their fuckers only interested in money. I got up and politely sed thx 4 the opportunity but this isnt for me. I must admit I feel down. Bad news I got from home this mng just adds to it. I know feeling sorry for myself wont help this situation but theres nothing I can do. Yesterday, im glad to say I was able to sleep in my boxers and a T. I've attained a little portable heater and cleaned the pad I currently live in. These little things are for homeless people to worry about and I dont exactly understand why Im roughing thru this shit wen I dont really have to. I tell myself its good, I say everything is relative and I'll appreciate the luxuries I might one day have much more because of this experience. I'm not really sure anymore if I will ever have any luxuries. I feel defeated.

1 comment:

  1. Occasional reality checks are a good idea.feelings are sometimes complicated affairs.
    Allow your feeling to guide you, not control you.
    My situations are worse than you,atleast you have a good family back home!
    You will make it through if you put a smile on your face again!
    That's the challenge in life.


Thanx, it was sent.