Friday, January 30, 2015

A Strangers Invitation - Part 1



On the 4th day of hannukah a message came to me. Weird because whoever left it happened to drink my wine and placed an envelope right next to the empty glass.

Hmm, I was thinking as I opened it. Glitter EVERYWHERE as I thought "fuckkk!! I was pranked".

As I go to throw it out and begin to scheme up ways to "payback" whoever did this to me, I break down possibilitie. Was it Zohar? Nah, too busy with the baby. Ronnie? He would do someth.... what's this? A letter under all the glitter.

It read:

"To the roses thorn,

Your presence would be graciously appreciated at a private event with the "Shablackhgafalzalintfueitiviousneressniwit" family. [The fuck?]

Your host and family will like for you to appear, on the 3rd sunset, on the Lower East Side of a city they call Manhattan, at the intersection of Ganeden Street and Gehonom Ave."

Wow, these Nigerians have become quite sophisticated, stepped up their game. Picking up on current trends, and even want to meet. That is definitely new.

I think nothing of it as two days pass and then I remember a person with whom I once spoke, he shared with me that he lost $20,000 to a scammer pulling the same type shit.

Fuck it I said, I'll go just to mess with these guys. I once heard and saw images of a similar scammer who was convinced by the scamee to get tattoos of Mr. Burns from the Simpsons on his chest. Was very amusing to see.

So, I head out and I bring my pocket knife with me, just in case.

I made a right down the street and suddenly realized, I don't recognize anything around me. Did I never come down this way? Well, I continue on and see Gehonom Ave. It struck me to be a run down, grayish type of bland place. I went to ask someone if I was going in the right direction but their ears were muffled, listening to something, eyes in a trance. I look closer and see little screens on their eyeballs. They seemed to be strained, confused, in some sort of anguish - mentally busy anyway. Everyone I turned to was the same.

I continue on when a vagrant asked me for change. Filthy and dirty, I just wanted to get away and so I made a sharp turn onto Chaim St to avoid him. When I looked back to make sure he isn't following me I notice the scene has changed and all I saw behind me was a cliff I would have most certainly fell off had I not turned.

I can see the sign for GanEden St and where it meets with Gehonom. Definitely brighter, more colorful area, GanEden St is.

I knock on the door at 101 and look around. A humble building, smaller than the others around but definitely comfy. "Sinai Arms" it said on a plaque outside with faint lettering. I can only make out the EST but nothing after it, for NY it def looks old.

A water well was outside of the place and I thought who the hell uses wells in NYC? Bunch of women laboring over the thing, picking them up, putting them down.

One caught my eye as I noticed she was gracious with her movements, had good balance I thought. Hmm, I like that she actually bends @ the knees when picking things up rather than, well, shoving her ass in the air...

With my face pointing to the right, where this amazing girl was, I went to knock on the door in front of me and I noticed my hand is going further than it should. It was opened.

I walk inside and a feeling of warmth envelopes me. Amazing little trinkets and colorful auras emanating from all of these little things. I need to find out where in China Town they get this stuff.

As I adjust the patch on my left eye, I receive a tiny but sharp jolt of pain from the unsuccessful surgery I had had to try and fix it.

From the corner of my right eye I notice someone to my left moving back in forth, trancelike, in prayer, with straps of black leather wrapped several times around his arm and hand. Tefillin.

As I go to ask him what exactly is going on here and what this is all about I was struck by the depth in his eyes. I had to look twice, broke contact and then thrice and was simply transfixed. Like a vast sunny ocean behind what is normally just a glassy stare.

I began to move my lips to ask him again, when he put out his arm for me to grasp and shake it. I looked at it and so I did. He explained his name is Jesus and that he... Oh my friends name is Jesus, I proclaimed. "Not [hey Zeus!!] that's my cousin and he is on business in Athens @ the moment. It's [Jee Zus]"

Jesus, calm down dude. I gotchya, I said.

"I want to introduce you to my mother"
With that he took me into another room where I saw a woman dressed in some sort of religious attire, looked like a nun, looked naive, definitely a virgin if I had to guess.

She began to explain that she likes to put careful planning into things, quite superstitious as she kept on blessing the name of her son "may he live forever" "may he be successful"

She went on about the meticulous way that she planned how to cook the chicken in the oven. Calculating and analytical, a sudden thought jumped to mind. God forbid this woman ever cooks up a scheme to manipulate people and use her obvious ability to think things thru to do it.

Anyway, Jesus came over and said he wanted to show me a trick. Quite the show off he is actually. Now that I stop to think of it for a fraction of a moment, he certainly likes recognition. He put a bucket in the sink and filled it with water. He then placed the bucket in between the two of us and stepped into it with his left foot. He went on to put all his weight on his left foot and to my surprise it did not sink into the bucket. Quite impressive I thought and also said to him, while in the back of my mind I'm thinking I shouldve TVoed David Blains last show so I can pull this kind of shit in the bars and impress the females.

Trying not to waste time, I explain (lying) that I have some place to be soon.

Te be continued on Sunday @ 8:00 PM EST
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